In memory

What is it about death that causes us to self-reflect? Is it the fear of the unknown? Maybe its the idea that we may not have done all that we could in this life. Is it the fear of being the one who is left behind? Regardless, it seems to create this panoramic view of life so that, if for only a moment, we can see the big picture. In dealing with the recent and tragic death of one of my best friend's dad, I couldn't help but sit next to my mom during one of the saddest funerals I've ever attended, and thank the Lord for the blessings I have. I try to live my life each day as to have no regrets when this life is over. My friend's father took his own life on the 4th of July. Whenever such a tragedy occurs, there are so many emotions involved. It is so easy to blame the person at fault and be angry with them. I, nor anyone else on this earth, is in a position to judge the decisions of others, but I have been in frighteningly similar situations on two previous accounts and it literally hurts my heart to know the torment he was experiencing at the end of his life. Not only that, but knowing the feelings that were bombarding my friend and her sweet family. I have cried many more tears than I would have expected. I guess when someone that I care about hurts, I hurt too. It is a quality I was born with, and will always possess. However, I cant help but think that he is smiling down right now knowing that his loved ones are going to be just fine and that they will find strength in each other. I can imagine the peace he feels by knowing that, no matter what happens, the Lord will never leave their side.
Life is such a precious gift that we way too often take for granted. I love my friend as if she were my own family, and have been amazed by her strength and love. It continues to inspire me each and every day because I have no idea how I would react in such a circumstance. I just hope that each of us can take a minute every single day that we get to live and breath, and realize how many wonderful things we have. I have lived my life in times of plenty as well as in times of dire need. My brother, sister, and I are grown now and are beginning to support ourselves, but we grew up for many years with what some would see as nothing. We come from a very poor beginning, but all I can remember is being so happy and content. One of the most amazing lessons I learned from my mother was the fact that, when we had no food in the house and not a dollar in the bank, she focused on the things we did have. We had each other. I wish that everyone could have the outlook that my mother has had my entire life. I can guarantee, no matter how little you think you have, there is someone else in this world that has it much worse than you.


David Henderson: 07-04-08
You will be missed